I'm sure that if I went to a doctor right now, he would diagnose me with depression. I've been dealing with depression for a long time, since I was 13 but never like this. I've never felt so sincerely sad in my life. I've dealt with anger and anxiety mixed with sadness but now, I just am.Life is what you make of it, but right now, I don't know what to make of anything. I have been consumed with worry and heartache. I just can't get rid of these feelings. I try to find something to smile about but most of the time, I'm crying over something. I feel annoying to my friends and like I'm a burden to my family sometimes.
I have yet to find my place in the world. Something is terribly wrong with my thought process lately. Mike told me that his time training has made everyone's mentality different. Just as Mike is changing, I am changing as well. I didn't know I was going to be so unhappy. I wasn't expecting this. I need a drastic change. Life is so fragile, I've always known this. I should be happy and having fun while I'm young and living. I need to get out of this box and find my castle.
2 comments:
if you need antidepressants...don't hesitate to ask for them. You know your body and you know what you're facing. You're grieving, that's normal, but if it takes over your life and keeps you from going about your daily business then it's no longer normal and you need help.
Is this his first deployment or just your first with him?
yeah, things would be a lot easier if I had some type of medication but, I'm really going to try harder and find things to do.
This is his 3rd deployment but my first with him... hopefully things will look up.
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