Half My Heart

I can't get his deployment out of my mind. He hasn't even left yet! Sunday is approaching too quickly for my liking. It's going to be hard going from seeing him everyday, all day, to seeing him for 14 days on leave. If there are any more experienced girlfriends or wives reading this, I'm sorry if I sound like I'm whining. I know you've been through all of this before. I know I have to be strong and keep my chin up.

I'm making a list of what I should send him in a care package overseas. I know he likes black liquorish and chewing tobacco. Both are disgusting in my opinion but if that's what he wants, then I'll send him some Copenhagen and Skoal. I'm sending lotion, batteries, and eye drops as well. I know he can get a lot of this stuff by himself but, I think sending things to remind him of home will help make life a little easier on him. I'm picking up some nice stationary to write letters, I think they are more personable than writing emails (we'll still send email though). Mike has wonderful handwriting.

Thinking about things I'm going to do for him makes me feel so much better. I want him to remember that people are really pulling for him back home and miss him. I want to give him my best because I know he's giving his. I'm going to be there for him no matter what happens and hope for the best. This is a huge test for our relationship and I know we can make it. He won't have a problem being strong, it's going to be my problem. I've got to keep my composure and fill the gaps.

I have a feeling that I will not see him on Sunday before he leaves. We will have to say our goodbyes late on Saturday night, probably in my car as he drops me off at home. Sunday will be my "depressed day." I will sulk and lay around... or atleast try to. My parents don't want me ,"moping around," the house. That, in itself, is not very incouraging and is not going to make my sadness go away.